


Experimental

by Mycaruba



Category: Game Grumps
Genre: M/M, Rubberbang - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-31
Updated: 2016-07-31
Packaged: 2018-07-28 12:05:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,841
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7639549
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mycaruba/pseuds/Mycaruba
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Ross lets it slip that he's not entirely straight, Dan is totally and unsurprisingly supportive.  But when Ross starts asking some uncomfortable questions about Dan's sexuality, he finds he might have pushed too far.  One way or another, things won't be the same between them for long.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Experimental

“FUCK!” Ross screamed, throwing his mouse across the room and sending Mimi running for cover. Mochi stopped licking himself to run after her, but not before throwing a somewhat reproachful look over at the two men on the couch. Ross was playing Electronic Super Joy again, or at least trying to; he had certainly made some progress, although the 200 or so deaths in the last hour had sent his blood pressure skyrocketing, and Dan thought his ears were actually letting out a little bit of steam. Dan was torn between amusement and fear, an emotion he was used to after playing so many video games with Ross and Arin and sitting through their rage-fueled tirades when things didn't go their way.

“Buddy?” he carefully asked, bracing for Ross to lash out at him for simply being in the same room when he was so mad. When he didn't get any reaction, he gently laid a hand on Ross's shoulder and starting rubbing soothing circles; he soon felt the trembling dwindle, and he noticed that Ross's fists, which had been clenched to the point of whiteness, were a little more relaxed. Ross sighed shakily and sat back on the couch, shoving his laptop away a little harder than was necessary.

“Sorry, Dan”, he mumbled, roughly rubbing a hand over his face. “This damn game makes my blood boil, you know?” He shook his head and smiled ruefully. Dan sighed, scooting closer to Ross and putting his arm around him. He'd noticed that, for the past few weeks Ross's temper had been extra short; he knew something was bothering the man, but Ross liked talking about his feelings about as much as he liked sitting still. Nonetheless, Dan felt he had to try.

“Hey, man, what's been bugging you lately? You've been...I don't know, jumpy and, you get mad over stuff really quickly. Not that you were super chill before, but-”

“I...really don't want to talk about this, Dan.”

Dan shifted on the couch, turning to his body towards Ross. “Why not? Come on, man, I'm your friend, if there's something going on-”

“It's sort of personal,” Ross said brusquely. He peered up at Dan, who was looking at him with openness and tenderness; he knew that Dan wouldn't laugh at or judge him for anything, he just wanted to know what was going on because he wanted to help. Ross sighed but couldn't help smiling at Dan's easy, sweet charm; the man knew how to make people bare their souls.

“Alright. It's just that...someone who I was...sleeping with...isn't sleeping with me anymore. We...broke up?” Ross wasn't sure if that was the right term for whatever he and his partner had been, but it sufficed.

“Oh, man, I'm sorry”, Dan said, pulling him into a tight hug. “You didn't tell us you were seeing anyone.”

“Eh, it was more of a sex thing. I've been a little off lately because I haven't gotten laid since we ended things.” He shook his head slightly. “Not like I was in love with him.” Ross gasped slightly and felt his lips purse, as if to stop the words from coming, but it was too late, he'd already said them. He felt his stomach drop and a sudden nausea overcome him; he resumed trembling, unable to believe what he'd just done. Ross's words replayed over and over in Dan's head; he thought back to what Ross had said to make sure he had heard correctly. A guy? He didn't think Ross was fucking with him; he could tell that from the sheer look of horror on Ross's face. No, this had slipped out on accident. Was Ross gay? Had he done this before? Did it mean anything? He stopped that train of thought, because none of it mattered. What mattered right now was assuring Ross that he didn't care, that he didn't judge him;it had just taken him by surprise.

“Ross, listen,” he said suddenly. “I don't care...I mean, whatever you do is...fine. It's just...none of us knew that...whatever, it doesn't matter.”

Ross snapped out of his trance to stare at Dan. “It doesn't?”

Dan shook his head fervently. “I don't care who you have sex with or fall in love with. You're one of my best friends and I want you to be happy.”

Dan's words took the wind out of Ross's fear; the panic that was coursing through his system slowly ebbed and he started feeling okay. So why was he blinking back tears all of a sudden? He took stock of himself and realized he was feeling tremendous relief. He'd been holding back the truth from his friends for so long out of some ridiculous notion that they wouldn't accept him, that it would be too much of a change for them to handle. Of course he should have known they wouldn't care, and he was glad Dan was the first to know about it. He shakily extended his hand to grip Dan's shoulder in thanks, trying to hold back tears. Dan leaned forward to give him a hug, and Ross felt the last of his tension leave his body in a great exhalation. He tried to murmur his thanks, but it was hard to speak with his face pressed up against Dan's chest. He took a deep, calming breath inward and couldn't help noticing that Dan smelled sweet.

\---

Over the next several days, with Dan's gently nudging support, Ross came clean about the fact that he liked guys. Everyone was wonderful about it, of course. Despite their open-armed acceptance, Ross felt the most comfortable opening up to Dan about the things he had kept under wraps for years. Maybe it was the fact that Dan was the first person he had told; it was odd, but he had always imagined telling Dan before anyone else. A few days later Dan and Ross were sitting on the grump couch, taking a breather from a very involved Sierra game playthrough.

“So, why did you hide it from everyone for so long?” Dan asked.

“I wasn't really hiding it, necessarily. It was more like...every time I thought about telling you guys, this little voice in my head would be like 'It's none of their business' or 'They don't want to know about your sex life'. I just kept finding reasons to not tell anyone, and soon it seemed too huge a thing to like, mention casually. How do you even bring something like that up out of nowhere? And it's not like people just go around discussing their sexuality. People just kind of...assume stuff.”

Dan nodded sagely. “I guess I know what you mean. And bisexuality is...it's one of those things that gets shafted a little bit. People assume that if you date girls you're straight, but what if you're also into dudes? It's not like anyone would know unless they saw you with one.”

Ross murmured assent as he sipped his coffee. “Well, don't take everything at face value, because you never know what someone's hiding.”

“So how long have you, uh, been at it?” Dan blinked slowly, then shook his head. “That was a weird question, forget it.” He laughed at his own awkwardness.

“Hey, I don't mind it. Um, like six years?” Ross paused, reminiscing about the events that had led to his first encounters. “God, I was like, so bad at everything at first. For some fucking reason I decided to nibble on one guy's scrotum. I think I read it in Cosmo or some shit.”

Dan grimaced. “No one should ever read Cosmo for sex tips. Or in general.” He laughed heartily. “Hey, you want to know something, man? The first time I went down on a girl, I...um, missed the target.”

“By how much?” Ross asked, giggling.

“Straight asshole, bruh.”

Ross burst out laughing and Dan joined in not long after. After a while, they calmed down and Ross asked something that had been niggling at the back of his mind.

“So you've like, never been with a guy?”

“Nope. Why?”

“I figure I should ask everyone I know in case they're hiding something too. Who knows, maybe everyone I know is bi.”

Dan chuckled. “Nah, sorry man, I like ladies.”

“You've never even thought about it?”

Dan said nothing for a suspiciously long period of time. Finally he said, “Well, I mean, I did watch this guy getting fucked in the ass once.”

Ross's eyebrows shot up to the heavens.

“Alright...I didn't...what I wanted...” Dan sighed. “There was a guy in this porn who looked a lot like a girl at first. Skinny, no body hair. I didn't realize it was a dude until like, halfway in, and by that point, I was already hard.”

There was another long pause. “So....”

Dan's face started to grow pink. “I, um, figured I'd try to jerk it to see if it would get me off.”

Ross grinned mischievously. “And?” he prompted further.

Dan's eyes shifted slightly away. “Well, the guy who I thought was a girl gave great head. And he was making these obscene noises...” He shrugged, face turning red. “But that's like, the only, um, experience what that kind of thing I've ever had.”

Ross nodded and remained silent for a moment. More than three seconds of silence coming from Ross was kind of unnerving, so Dan scooted closer and asked “Whatcha thinking, buddy?”

Ross licked his lips and met Dan's eyes intensely. Under his scrutiny, Dan felt heat slowly course through his body. After a long moment, Ross spoke with an air of nonchalance that wasn't entirely genuine. “Well, if you thought that was hot, and it didn't make you feel weird...maybe you should watch more gay porn to see if you like it. Like, maybe it was only that one that turned you on, or you just like gay stuff in general.”

Dan tousled his hair, feeling a touch uncomfortable with this discussion. “Well, even if I like watching it for whatever reason, it doesn't necessarily mean...anything.”

“No, I know,” Ross quickly chimed in. “But hey, what's wrong with spicing up your porn palate?”

Dan chuckled. “My porn palate? What am I, Gordon fucking Ramsey all of a sudden?” A little of his tension with the subject melted away and he looked Ross squarely in the eye. “Alright, I will watch some gay porn and get back to you. But I'm pretty sure that I'm not gay, Ross. I mean, wouldn't I have had sex with a guy by this point if I was?”

Ross shrugged. “If you had asked me at nineteen what my sexuality was, I would have absolutely said I was straight. But then I met this guy who just, like, blew past all my preconceived notions of who I was and what I wanted. I liked him enough to date him even though I thought I was straight, and when we broke up, suddenly I was noticing guys a lot more. Sometimes it takes an experience or a person to, I don't know, unlock something in you. Haven't you ever seen Chasing Amy?”

Dan shook his head. “I haven't.”

“Well, watch that. And then watch some gay porn.”

Dan laughed. “Yes, sir. Can we get back to the game now?”

“Only if we get to lick things, Dan.”

The two men shifted gears and soon got back into the swing of the game. Ross tried very hard all the while not to let the tiny glimmer of hope in his heart grow before he had a good reason to let it.

\---

Ross walked into the office a few days later to see Dan shoving a meatball sub in his mouth. He smiled; the man had been so busy since their talk he had hardly had a chance to eat, much less watch porn. Still, it couldn't hurt anything to ask.  
“Don't eat so fast, Dan, you'll make yourself sick.”  
“Don't care,” Dan mumbled through a mouthful of sauce. “Too good.”  
Ross nervously drummed his fingers on the table. “So.”  
“So?”  
“So did you...uh, get a chance to do what we talked about?”  
Dan paused to huff out a breath. “I'm eating, Ross.”  
“Just curious. No rush.”  
Dan gulped down the last of his sandwich and reached for a soda. He had marinara sauce all over his mouth; Ross bit the inside of his cheek to keep from smiling. How could something so gross be so endearing?  
Ross sincerely hoped he wasn't falling for Dan; even though he was pushing him to broaden his horizons, he held out little hope that it would change anything about their relationship.  
“I, um, I did actually. Last night, I couldn't sleep because I still had this, like, adrenaline in my system from all the shit I did yesterday. So I went and watched a video of two guys having sex.”  
Ross nodded, swallowing nervously. “And what did you think?”  
“It, um, it was hot, honestly. There was passion and heat between them, and they were making these noises, moaning and just, going at it.” His cheeks grew pink as he talked. “I know it was probably just acting, but it was really sexy. And it definitely got me off.” Ross's eyes lit up. “So yeah, not just a fluke.” Dan shrugged. “I guess I like gay porn.”  
“Did you ever picture yourself as one of the guys?”  
Dan was silent for a long moment. “The guy on top, he...he really seemed to be enjoying it. But so did the other guy, so...I kind of switched back and forth.”  
“So you got off thinking about fucking a guy and getting fucked by one?”  
Dan sighed. “Yeah, I guess I did.”  
“Did you think about what that might mean? Do you want to maybe...try it?”  
Dan traced the condensation on the edge of the can with his thumb. “I don't know. It's nothing I've ever wanted before, but I didn't hate thinking about it while I was watching the porn.”  
“Hmm. Well maybe you need to, you know, fantasize about that happening just in your own head. And then...you could, you know, whatever.”  
Dan's eyes flashed towards Ross and he could feel his sudden anger burning a hole through him. “I don't need to do anything, Ross. Getting off on gay porn is pretty much as far as I'm capable of going, okay? God, why are you trying to push me to do all this shit? I'm fine with who I am, I don't need to be...”  
“Bi?” Ross said, unable to keep the venom out of his voice. “What's so wrong with that?”  
Dan shook his head. “There's nothing....you don't...it's just not who I am, Ross.”  
Ross bit his lip hard enough that he tasted blood. “Fine. Whatever, Dan.” He pushed up from the table and stalked off; Dan turned and watched him go, wanting to call out but unsure of what the hell he could say to make this right. He jumped as he noticed that Arin was standing silently in the corner, arms folded.  
“Jesus, how long have you been standing there?”  
“Long enough,” Arin said solemnly.  
“Why are you...” Dan shook his head. “Never mind. What does Ross want, huh? Why is he trying to turn me into this other person? What does he hope to gain by making me do his weird bidding?”  
Arin sighed deeply. “He wants you, dummy. He's trying to see if you're actually interested in guys or not, and then he can see if you're interested in him.”  
“Oh.” Dan stared mutely ahead. “But I'm not into dudes.”  
“You sure, man? Cause watching gay porn and imagining yourself as both guys...is a little telling.”  
“But I'm...if I was, don't you think I'd have known that by now? Like, when puberty hit?”  
Arin shook his head. “Honestly, I've heard a ton of stories of bi or gay people who just didn't know until way late in life. There's this idea that straight is normal, and people want to be normal, so they just assume they're straight. It's almost a subconscious thing. It's easy to brush it off and not explore those feelings if you don't think you fit that stereotype. Plus, most people think about sex and masturbate way before they actually do it, and those little mental explorations help those feelings come into fruition. But if you never think about gay stuff, that part of you doesn't develop until a bit later.”  
Dan cocked his head at Arin curiously, who simply shrugged. “Suz gave me a pamphlet.”  
“Anything you want to tell me, bud?”  
“Later. Right now, you should go find Ross.”  
“What can I even say to him? I might be into guys, but don't get your hopes up?”  
“Yeah. Tell him the truth, and he'll just have to deal with that. It's better than lying to him and to yourself.”  
“Ok, you're right.” Dan grabbed his phone and strode quickly towards Arin. “We're gonna have that conversation about your stuff later, though.”  
Arin sighed. “Just go.”

 

\---

"Good going, man. Real nice," Ross muttered stormily. He strode purposefully to his car, frustrated tears threatening to leak out. He opened the driver's-side door and threw himself in, whacking his knee on the seatbelt buckle in the process. “Ahh, fucking hell!” He sat for a long moment, gripping his leg and feeling a whirlwind of emotions course through him. He knew he didn't have a right to be mad at Dan; part of him wanted to just go back and apologize for pushing him into something he clearly wasn't into, but the embarrassment he felt at the scene he'd made was preventing him from doing much of anything. Ross wanted nothing more than to go home and lick his wounds, then come back here tomorrow, make peace with Dan, and move on like nothing had ever happened. His eyes were still clenched shut in pain when he heard a light tap at his window; he jumped, swearing loudly, and hit his knee once again on the steering wheel. “Owww!” he moaned, nearly crying now. He heard the gentle tap again and turned to see Dan, eyes full of concern, and even in that moment of sheer frustration, felt a surge of affection for the man. Ross sighed deeply, turned the keys in the ignition, and pushed the window button down, staring steadily ahead. After what seemed an eternity of terrible silence, Ross turned his eyes upwards and was surprised to see Dan smiling at him. “Dan, listen...I wasn't trying to-”  
Ross stopped short as Dan's slender hand slid into his hair; in slow motion, he saw Dan suddenly lean forward and start kissing him. He whimpered, and Dan gripped him tighter, deepening his kiss until Ross could feel himself melting, and not just from the California sun. Dan pulled away and Ross felt blissfully stupefied; grinning cheekily, Dan asked, “May I enter your carriage, sir?”  
“What? Oh yeah, um, come in.” Dan bounded over to the passenger side and slid into the seat next to Ross. The younger man could feel himself blushing as Dan looked at him; he was still unclear on where they stood, but that kiss had been a pretty clear signal. Dan took Ross's hand in his and he could just about feel his heart burst out of his chest. Dan blew out a breath and turned to him.  
“First thing, I wanted to say I'm sorry for how I acted back there-”  
“I'm sorry! I shouldn't have been such a drama queen...or...king, I guess.”  
Dan smiled fondly. “We were both a little assholey, then. Let's call it even. But I wasn't entirely honest with you about my feelings.” He paused for a long while, and Ross could swear he heard Dan's heartbeat pick up speed. “I haven't been honest with any of you, and...I should really thank you for giving me the courage to say this. I have thought about being with guys before, like...a lot, actually. So much so that I know now that I'm not straight. It's just...it's all about identity, you know? I mean, objectively I know that bisexuality is, like, a thing that exists, but I just never really pictured myself as the kind of person who likes men. Even if I also like girls, like, a lot. And it's ridiculous of me to assume, even subconsciously, that there's a certain type of person that isn't heterosexual. It was shitty of me to think that, and maybe I wasn't even aware I had that notion. But when you came out, and you started questioning me about what I like...it touched a nerve, and it made me anxious, because I've always sort of had this inkling about myself, and I just wasn't ready to face it.” He shook his head ruefully. “I mean, most people know who they are by the time they're sixteen, and here I am in the fucking late thirties, only just now admitting that I'm...”  
“That you're what, Dan?” Ross said this kindly, but in a tone firm enough that Dan knew there was no more hiding it.  
“That I'm bisexual,” Dan said, and Ross could feel the tension leaving Dan's body. “I like guys. And, in that respect, I'm still sort of...a virgin.”  
“Well, don't worry, man. A guy with looks like yours isn't going to be very pure for long.” Dan snorted.  
“I'm serious! There are like, a thousand guys that would kill to be your, you know, first.”  
“A guy like you, maybe?”  
“Um...” Ross's face flushed, and he found himself suddenly unable to form words.  
“I mean, no pressure, man. It's just...like, I said, you inspired me to come out to like, myself, and just finally be honest about who I am. And you know I adore you, and you're one of my best friends, and it would just be nice to, you know, do something like that with someone I'd trust with my life.”  
Ross fiddled with the loose thread of his jeans, grinning mischievously. “I mean, I guess we could do that. It'd be pretty cool.” Dan nudged him and kissed him again, and Ross could feel the promise of many wonderful things to come with him. They bathed in the glow of blooming love for a long while, until finally Dan broke the silence.  
“So, Arin, is he, um...”  
“Oh, dude's totally bi.” Dan gave him a look and he shrugged. “I can tell, you know? How do you think I figured you out?”  
Dan giggled softly. “Why do you think he hasn't told us?”  
“Everyone comes out in their own time, Dan. He'll tell his when he's ready, and we'll tell him we've known for-fucking-ever.”  
Dan entwined his fingers in Ross's and lifted his hand to kiss each knuckle. “Sounds like a plan.”


End file.
